thoughts of a friend

note to muse for this piece: ok...it stays up this time since you've already saved it :
and yes, i changed something minor ;-)

who is she?
not too sure
at times

the complexity of her
confuses me
yet exhilarates me
at the same time

the simplicity of her
keeps me calm
in times of need

she…
always there
from day one and beyond
regardless of her own
motivations

through all the shit
all the bad moods
all the psychotic emotional meltdowns
the roller coaster ups and downs
the hot and cold sexual games

in that form, yes i am a player
not on purpose
just because…
my own uncertainties
keep me off balance

we’ve danced this game before
she and i
but i ran….
scared

scared turned to angry
angry turned to disconnection
more angry with myself
than her

disconnection from her
and many others
provided a cleansing
like a purging of the soul

to find myself again
as i…
too lost to live
too sad to breathe
too angry to participate
in life

she
still there
at the end of it all

with a good heart
comforting soul
hints of adventures
to be had

so
where do i stand now?
i remain convicted
to keep the balance
between us

both
craving things
i dare not speak of

that fine line not be crossed
as it would be far too easy
to fall into emotions
dangerous for both

this friendship
not to be lost again

©~wicked~