euthanasia of my heart

(written during a low ebb in my life...one of many)

broken dreams befall me nightly, wrenching me from sleep in tears,
i lay trembling in constant disquiet as only a trace of your scent
remains in the room…on my pillow…in my bed

regrets finally succumb to the stubbornness
of my will that allowed me to survive it all so far…
but can no more…the toll too great

weakness has now settled into this once
lusty woman with mischievous, sparkling eyes
and the smile of dreams

life of these dreams now relinquished
to countless signs of things not as the words whispered
within bedroom walls, sated arms, soft kisses

in the end, given all of me, nothing will matter…
decisions made long ago…decisions that are not mine
“lies and betrayals” the victor

the despairing…inconsolable fallout will not matter
you will be long gone…far away from it all…away from me
no need to look back…no more worries

others left to pick up the shattered pieces
as only bright stars ahead for you now...
a new life…new adventures…new love

as night befalls once again, the fear of tortured sleep comes quickly
heart lays bleeding beside me…watching in horror it's last breath
fade from its endless struggles

© ~wicked~